the girl i used to be is still the girl inside of me // a meditation on 2025
title from: money is everything by addison rae happy very, very belated new year. i never considered january to be the beginning of a new year, though — january is always that weird transitionary state where nothing really happens and nothing feels real, and february is where the real action begins. anyways, it’s january 16 now, and (at risk of jinxing myself forever) the year has treated me very kindly so far. it’s been very uneventful, my days full of nothing but watching tv (shoutout to heated rivalry, my number one obsession right now), working two jobs, and going to school, but compared to the past turbulent years, that’s all i could ask for. boring. peaceful. wouldn’t change it for anything else. around this time last year, i was going through the worst depressive episode i’ve dealt with in my entire life — i always struggled with suicidal ideation, but this was the first time those thoughts felt like more than just passing feelings. it was a combination of many thin...